Evolution of Tech at Family Gatherings: Decade Observations
by Gary Feltman
As we were participating in the New Year’s countdown, my
daughter had her face buried in her iPod, and was not counting down with us.
Within this 10-second timeframe, my wife and I together instinctively attempted
to rip the iPod out of her hands. The response was a look of aggravation and
fear, as she gripped her iPod and would not allow the device to be taken.
Through this 2-second interaction, I remembered that she had been looking
forward to watching December change to January, and 11:59-12:00, on the iPod.
This year, my daughter stayed awake for the New Year’s Countdown for the
first time in her life. During the hours leading up to this moment, my daughter
had been creating on Minecraft, building a 3 floor castle with a garden, pool,
chickens, and amongst other novelties. I would consider creating on Minecraft
being more productive than watching countdowns and performances on television;
so I was okay with that.
Within that 10 second countdown, I briefly got upset, yet
immediately gained quick understanding of her first-time perspective and
experience of celebrating New Year’s eve, while using and watching her device.
I realized that this device is a part of her life, and she has grown up
observing others having their faces buried in their devices. Is this a bad
thing? I’m not sure; but it is what it is.
When I recall about 8-10 years ago (about 2004, give or take
a couple years) at family events, cell phones were just beginning to become
popular. Almost everybody had a cell phone, but they weren’t the fancy smart
phones with internet and multiple apps; they were flip phones used mostly for
the purpose of calling and texting others. One Thanksgiving conversation I
recall was when someone at the table asked what something meant, and I
responded “Google it.” The response from the family member was “Google it,
that’s the new term for these kids.” Then the conversation continued to how
everybody just “Googles” everything, followed by a 10-minute explanation of
what happens when you forgett to include an attachment and how Googling
directions might not always be accurate.
Then about 5-7 years ago, tech use seemed to be a
“free-for-all” at family events, where everybody just did what they wanted and
used their devices however and whenever they pleased, no matter what the
setting. The informal rules were being created and learned. Taking photos was a
new experience. The photos were poor quality, and sharing was neither fun,
purposeful, or convenient. The family discussions were about whether or not to
purchase a cell phone, iPod, or other tech device. If the children owned one,
they would talk about it, and take good care of it. If the children didn’t own
one, they may have expressed wanting a device as a gift in the near future.
Going about 3-4 years back there seemed to be a general
understanding of cell phone etiquette at the dinner table, where people
shouldn’t check their phones, text, or talk at the table. There were no well-known
written rules of cell phone or technology etiquette. Nobody announced or
proclaimed the rules with the exception of the occasional parent explaining to
their kids to put the phone away. Another exception might have been the
grandmother who just got her new cell phone, and decides to answer it at the
table and speak loudly, because the unwritten rules were not explained, and all
the younger family members took time to explain and demonstrate how to answer
calls, make calls, or introduce to the concept of texting.
Things have even changed from 1-2 years ago, where people
seemed to have a good understanding of the rules and made an honest effort to
either leave their cell phones in the cars, or simply put them away, not being visible
to others until the family events were over. The exception to this may have
been someone pulling out their new iPad that they received as a gift, or to
exchange a phone number or refer back to something. Again, the younger
generation would demonstrate the various things to do with tablet technologies;
the basics, for example, weather, Facetime, Skype, basic games, or other common
apps. However during this time, people were not comfortable enough with the
technology yet, at least not enough to just pass devices around and let others
use them. The device seemed to just be a really neat novelty technology toy
that was pulled out briefly for demonstration. During this time frame, most
realized that the procedure for proper etiquette when using a cell phone was to
excuse themselves from the festivities and briefly exit the room. When demonstrations or communications were
finished, the devices are put away while everybody made an effort to socialize.
So what’s it like today? I observe nearly every family
member young and old has one form of device, whether connected to wi-fi or not.
Family members do not need to count on a household wi-fi connection, because
everybody brings their own. People are not shy to pull out their devices,
discuss the latest apps, play similar games on devices at the same time while
discussing tech objectives and achievements and still holding relevant
conversations. The explanation of the meaning and use of a hashtag seems to be
fading as everybody is gaining understanding. The latest experience is family
members taking pictures at the events and immediately sharing on social media
with hash tags and tagging. Meanwhile everybody involved grabs their device and
continues interacting online by liking, sharing, and commenting in the online
world.
All this happens while everybody is physically in the same
room. It even seems as if the main topic of conversation at these family
gatherings are family member’s activity on Facebook throughout the year. It
seems everybody has a working memory and understanding of everybody’s Facebook
activity for the past year, even though they may not have interacted online, then
everybody proceeds to discuss these events. Not only that, but everybody has
their devices in hands showing photos of family or vacations.
These are simply my observations over the years. The
memories mostly stem from holiday gatherings, but also just other formal or informal
family meetings. I wonder if others have observed similar experiences. It
almost seems as if devices have worked their way into family gatherings, being
conversation starters in one form or another, and in some cases being the
central point of interaction or discussion. For example, people attempt to take
group pictures and share them with hashtags to participate in commercial
competitions online. I’m sure at one point or another, someone has used a
device to quietly communicate with someone else in the same room, because
communicating said topic might not be appropriate.
I wonder how this will evolve through the next ten years.
Thanks for reading. Comments welcome.
Twitter: @garyfeltman
